Motherhood So White: A memoir of race, gender, and parenting in America
by Nefertiti Austin
“I recently read a tweet that identified white privilege as everyone learning to empathize and cater to whiteness. Unfortunately, we live in a society that does just that; we teach people to empathize and cater to whiteness in fairytales (think Goldilocks), in religion (white Jesus), and even in parenting. As a mother of two, I have seen the lack of inclusivity in books on expecting, parenting, and living. In a realm that often discredits or neglects the stories of Blacks, let alone Black women, in walks Nefertiti Austin and Motherhood So White. The book enters as a memoir on Austin’s experience adopting as a single Black woman, and narrates the experience of parenting.
I was immediately drawn into Austin’s experience as she narrates it as a mother after the devastating death of Trayvon Martin. I, too, found myself rocked by the murder of this young man as I realized that he could have been my son. Beginning her story here was a perfect hook; it grabbed me with the familiarity of the story and it made me go back to the intersectionality among myself, Sabrina Fulton, and Nefertiti Austin; we are (Black) mothers of Black boys.
Austin narrates a tale sharing her longing for motherhood. She shares the celebrations and the critiques of her choice to become a mother. She examines her family dynamics and how they factored into her decision. Austin candidly shares the choices she has had to make to be intentional in raising a Black boy. Among her decisions are: who is family, who gets a say, what’s in a name, and when and how to explain adoption. Austin does what any mother has to do; she makes decisions to help her child thrive. While she includes social context, Austin shows that although parenting is always an affair of the heart, there are experiences unique to race. She frames the narrative so that it is not just diverse but inclusive. The book is a good read. It is both informational and relatable.”
– goodreads